16th
apparently i was twitching
setting the tone of the weekend — massive inexplicable stress combined with alcohol enhanced fatigue — i spent my first day at south by southwest wednesday on appx 15 minutes of airplane sleep. things were kind of ok when I got to the airport at noon (the flight was at 5:45 am, hence the no sleep) and for the next few hours. got into the city and had lunch with simon and rabbit at a good mexican restaurant and had my first serious pangs about missing the southwest. i’ve been expecting this for five years but it was still a surprise. the dry air. the immediate evening chill. drive by thunderstorms. dust, wide roads, good mexican food, the wonderful surreality/peace of the biggest sky in the nation… i could go on, but it got me seriously thinking about the next step of my life, whenever that may be. i think it will be in the southwest again, which surprises the shit out of me given that i’ve been saying since i left colorado that i can’t live somewhere that isn’t by water. my theory about the impossibility of living comfortably — spiritually comfortably — in a neccessarily artificial, ultimately unsustainable landscape has given into the reality that the only places where i’ve ever felt spiritually connected to are the deserts. if i’ve had moments with the gods — and i think i have — they’ve happened in places like the granite pocked sage swells of hartman rocks or the lightly grassed ledges above the colorado river outside of fruita or, more than anywhere, the absolute neverending nowhere of southeastern utah, from the valley of the gods to the borderline concentration campness of the reservation town tuba city. this is where all of the nothing and all of the everything happens, where a sunset feels like it’s searing into your soul. the point that when this baltimore business is over, i’m probably going back west. grand junction maybe. maybe flagstaff. maybe farmington or sante fe.
we had lunch.
then we went to the fader fort, one of god knows how many rsvp-only hipster encampments that exist in austin during sxsw. shitty, shitty franz ferdinand copping band and free bass beers. first feelings of dizziness, disorientation.
to the sterile daystage at the convention center for white williams (better, but still not a fan) and cool kids (no fucking way that was going to work in a place that feels like the cafeteria of my college and it didn’t).
we went and checked into the hotel, which is literally underneath a highway overpass. the pool is closed and the wifi is weak. otherwise not bad. about a half an hour away from downtown by bus. we drank some beers and cabbed back downtown, both me and mark in the early stages of delirium.
we went to a hip-hop thing at a pretty fancy-ass club that’s the prototype for what a fancy-ass club is supposed to be in a college town; probably haven’t been to a place like it since i was last in fort collins. it was cool: bunch of people clustered around in a circle while one dude rapped battle-style over pretty basic beats. mark’s friend from minneapolos bought us stella artois. obliged, sir.
on to the myopenbar.com party on the roof of a parking garage. feeling awful. like my mind keeps blinking out or the floor feels like it’s rocking like a boat. beer and cigarettes both make this worse. we see no age. this was rad. a band like no age that specializes in fuzzed out punk deconstructions of indie-rock playing against a backdrop like the “new urban” austin skyline is gratifying. not feeling well at all and we went to see death set at the ninjatune showcase but, no, shit was getting screwy, like any minute i’m going to fall over in the street. i fun into simon and josh and get the comment that i look “fucked up.” good point. caught a cab and went back to the hotel.
the next day, simon and josh both confirmed that i was twitching. bad news.
